Reading Red Flags: How to Spot Them and How to Stop Them
Let’s face it, we’ve all missed a red flag or two.
In the chaotic world of online dating apps, red flags can be hard to catch, but they are not hard to come by. They take on many forms, showing up in DMs, bios, photos, and everything in between. Sometimes, something as simple as a messy bathroom selfie can serve as a warning for the messy situationship you are about to get yourself into. Or a low effort profile can alert you that you are going to receive the bare minimum in your relationship.
Unfortunately, these red flags start to lose their transparency when you like a person. Sometimes you may need a second pair of eyes, free of rose colored glasses. Let’s talk about how to spot them, and why the maternal figures in our lives have a tendency to see them before we do.
Bad Bios
Dating app bios serve as a first impression of our potential match. Sadly, these impressions are not always good. A red-flag ridden bio can save you from a regrettable conversation if you know where to look.
The photos a person chooses for their bio tell you a lot about them. Family photos, pictures of them doing what they love, and travel photos give insight into who they are. On the other hand, heavily edited photos might signify insecurity and make you ask yourself what they are hiding before even talking to them. Another common tell is group photos that mislead you about who’s profile you are looking at. If you have to dissect a profile trying to figure out its owner, that is definitely a signal to swipe left. Catfishing takes on other forms too. Lack of face pics, excessive thirst traps, and pictures with their ex make online dating even more confusing than it already is.
Prompts have entirely different pitfalls. While they present the opportunity for someone to share their story, sometimes they look like a checklist instead. Judgemental requirements about physical appearance are a sign to stay away. Everyone is entitled to have preferences, but responses that start with “Don’t even bother messaging me if …” don’t exactly represent a suitable partner. Lack of lifestyle tags can be a red flag too. If someone doesn’t include their relationship goals, beliefs, and habits, how are you supposed to know if you even have anything in common?
Daunting DMs
Anyone can sell themselves through a curated bio, but direct messages are a whole new ballgame. Matching with someone means you both want the same thing, so you are in the clear from red flags, right?
Wrong. Noticing patterns in DMs might be able to spare you from future heartbreak. One of those patterns is actually a lack thereof. One day you get rapid responses, and the next you get none. Inconsistent messaging is in the red flag hall of fame. If they can’t even commit to getting to know you, don’t expect them to commit to anything else. Interview style conversations may also tip you off. Run of the mill questions that don’t invite deeper connections might be a waste of your time.
The possibilities for red flags during the messaging phase are endless. Some people might take the liberty of calling you nicknames before knowing if you are comfortable with it. Others will reveal their passive aggressiveness if you take what they decide is too long to respond. You also have to avoid the penpal pandemic. If they are waiting weeks to set up a date or calling for constant rain checks, it’s probably time to move on.
A New Screening System
Amongst all of this mess, it is good to know that we have our own personal vetting systems that are always in our corners. Moms have the ability to see through the distractions and help us find the one. Dating apps can feel like an eternal doom scroll of despair when we’re not finding what we’re looking for. The KNOWSBEST App introduces a new way of digital dating. It incorporates maternal wisdom in a modern way and aims to create matches with strong foundations.
About the Writer
Hi! I’m Maeve, a social media and content creator for KNOWSBEST in Spring 2026. As a marketing and communications student, I love creating content that connects audiences. My goal is always to make people feel seen and empowered. I’m passionate about exploring trends, social media strategy, and expressing my creativity in any way that I can.
